I am a mighty warrior princess Child of God and my prayers move mountains poster

Beutee
5 min readMay 20, 2021

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INTERNAL MASSAGE

“That’s why I like hip-hop. It bangs you in the womb. For a while I did yoga and sound therapy. And each chakra in your body represents the colors of the rainbow, and each note represents one color. And certain notes respond to different parts of your body. Bass notes respond to this area of your body [she pointed to her flat, boyish abdomen under her monk-like robe]. That’s why hip-hop is so brilliant, apart from all the other reasons why it’s brilliant, it does that massage, if you like. So you can use music to heal emotional problems connected with these areas. Say you’ve got a sore throat and you wear something blue — that doesn’t necessarily work, but if you imagine filling yourself with blue, it helps you to feel better. And that certainly can happen with hip-hop — you can’t help but want to sort of waggle your reproductive system around, you know?”

I asked Sinéad if she had some happy moments in her childhood and she said, “No, I wouldn’t say I did. No.” But she liked singing hymns in school. “‘The Colors of the Day,’ ‘Bells of the Angels,’ and all that sort of thing . . . ‘Make Me a Channel of Your Peace,’ I just loved the melodies and harmonies. I liked the textures, I liked the feeling of the voices singing all together, so many notes that sort of sat on each other. It was nice . . . It was like rainbows if it was colors, it’s the same sort of shape . . . Because that’s how I see music, in shapes and textures. It’s so fucking hard to explain — I I am a mighty warrior princess Child of God and my prayers move mountains poster always have trouble trying to explain this to musicians as well. The balance of each part has to be equal, if you know what I mean, each little segment has to be of equal texture and of equal width and equal volume, if you like. It’s like an internal massage and you want to feel it from here to here, as all your points are being zapped all at once. It sounds completely hippie, but if you imagined they hit all of them at the same time, so that your body felt aligned . . . Do you know what I mean? The texture of it, the color of it makes you, gets all of you rather than just your head, or just your womb, or just your lungs.”

She’d held up two fingers when she used the word chakra.

“I like the way you make the peace sign every time you want to disassociate yourself from what you’re saying,” I said.

She has an unusual ability to maintain eye contact, even while wading through disturbing subject matter. I am a mighty warrior princess Child of God and my prayers move mountains poster

“I don’t want to disassociate myself because I really do believe those things, but I am aware that people think you’re full of shit when you say those things. I do genuinely believe them and I shouldn’t excuse myself. Do you know what I mean?” I am a mighty warrior princess Child of God and my prayers move mountains poster

She is friendly but doesn’t pretend that you are her friend. Yet she sometimes goes off on these jags of talk, and you know that despite how much she needs to protect herself, she is truly speaking her mind, letting words run into one another without censoring, just riffing. And she has an unusual ability to maintain eye contact, even while wading through disturbing subject matter. These combine to provoke in her interlocutor the same feeling of uneasy voyeurism one sometimes experiences while watching her videos, or listening to her records, or looking at her bare head. Yes, she agrees, the shaved head is about stripping down. And about the records, too, she concurs: “They are me. That’s what they are, me, you know. It’s like I took my skin off and had my picture taken.” And yet she somehow keeps the distance she needs.

I am a mighty warrior princess Child of God and my prayers move mountains poster

Talking to Sinéad, you feel captivated by her appearance, her powerful aura, her recollections, and yet you never forget the banal hotel wallpaper, the whir of the elevator just outside, the fact of the conversation. Straddling reality and spell, aware that if you slip too far in either direction you will lose her, you can start to feel in sync with her. It’s an experience of dividedness: Perfectly poised between awareness and fancy, she connects with you.

It’s easy to forget that she is a twenty-four-year-old rock ’n’ roll singer. Unlike nearly all of her contemporaries, Sinéad has made her voice heard on political matters. And what an argumentative, argumentative, argumentative voice it is! Like it or not — and many people don’t — her stands on censorship, racism, and sexism are front-page tabloid news. It can’t all be her lack of hair. . . . Despite rave reviews for her two albums, despite a single that shot to number one, and despite raking in top honors at the MTV awards, Sinéad gained her notoriety for two offstage incidents. One was canceling an appearance on Saturday Night Live last year when Andrew Dice Clay, the well-known racist, sexist, and homophobic comedian, was scheduled to host the show. The second was just a couple of weeks before we met: To protest the recent spate of censorship in this country, Sinéad refused to go onstage at a show in New Jersey if the national anthem was played before she went on.

IRISH SINGER SNUBS U.S., shrieked the front page of the New York Post, next to a photo of Sinéad looking particularly punk-grungy. Despite her subsequent attempts to explain her respect for Americans, the press whipped up quite the brouhaha. What a bad girl, we were told in countless articles and television sound bites. “The twenty-three-year-old Irish rock star [now twenty-four] who has a history of throwing tantrums and getting her way was singing a different tune yesterday about her concert in New Jersey on Friday,” chorused The New York Times. She’s gotten quite a reputation. She is willful, rebellious, aggressive, defiant. Even Frank Sinatra said so, and threatened, onstage, to kick her ass.

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